Good Monday morning...

 

… and words and phrases honoring deceased loved ones is always a highlight of the annual Butterfly Memorial ceremony that Hospice of the Valleys puts on.  This year was no exception!  In anticipation of the event, I asked Sarah, Bill and Mary’s daughter, to give me a word or phrase to be read for her dad.  “Preach the gospel – use words only if you have to,” was her contribution.  I loved that!

Being Christlike is a goal that seems out of reach.  But when you are in the presence of a brother or sister in Christ, who is living their faith, it appears to be doable.  That is what I loved about my time with Bill as we navigated years of being co-workers, neighbors, and the best of friends.  I’m still deeply saddened by his death, but the “replays in my mind” of the time we shared has made me ponder Sarah’s tribute to her dad.

I think the most obvious times that I recall Christlikeness in Bill were when we co-facilitated bereavement groups.  Our commitment to creating safe space for the expression of real grief, demanding a non-judgmental atmosphere for grievers to describe and share their grief, was the epitome of being like Jesus.  Interestingly, we were rarely asked about our faith, but consistently we were known for being “Pastor Bill and Pastor Mike.”

Holding difficult space with another person is vital to being a disciple of Jesus.  Being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry are essentials for holding this space.  Bill was always good at listening to others, absorbing their pain, and holding the space like the shepherd that he was.  I believe that he and I shared this skill and I continue to provide it in the bereavement groups I facilitate.

So, my proposal to you is to consider how you might use the Christlike example of being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.  Not every encounter is as intense as a bereavement group encounter, but every person you encounter is likely to be carrying some kind of grief.  Jesus’ example is to meet people where they are, so being quick to listen is the first step in finding out where they are.  Listen to understand while resisting the impulse to respond to be understood.  It’s a very unselfish practice.

Managing emotions is an essential skill in being Christlike.  Being slow to anger is not as easy as it may appear, but it is doable with the help of the Holy Spirit.  I’m working on this daily, as my emotions are often very close to the surface.  That pause for the Spirit to lead, to inform my mind and heart how to remain engaged with the other and focused on their story, without exploding my emotions all over them, is so powerful.  I’m a work in progress… give it a try!

For His glory,

Pastor Mike